Good Morning everyone, it’s New Years Day and we have no clue what the temperature is because this newscast was pre-recorded. Here’s our special edition of the news.
Baby New Year was abducted by the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come. A ransom note left by the Christmas haunt said it kidnapped the Baby New Year to prevent calamity in 2014. It wasn’t the worry over Iran obtaining nuclear weapons or the Middle East erupting into full scale war nor was it the health care calamity caused by Barry’s Obamacare that spooked the specter, it was the prospect of a steel cage match where Hooksett School Board Clerk John “Angry Elf” Lyscars takes on all his critics in a battle to the death. While the ransom note didn’t disclose who won, it left a tantalizing clue about Manchester Mayor Ted Gatsas dressed as Santa tag teaming with the Elf to decimate the field, leaving them face to face with each other for the final battle.
In a shocking announcement made yesterday, New Hampshire’s two United States Senators said they’d been sharing clothes. It was junior senator Kelly Ayotte who let slip the clothing secrets. She said she admired Senator Jeanne Shaheen’s collection of pant suits and asked if she could try a couple. Shaheen agreed to allow Ayotte to sample her entire wardrobe so long as she joined her in opposing Conservative efforts to derail the implementation of Obamacare and vote with her to raise the debt limit so she could cover her vulnerabilities in her coming reelection bid. Ayotte not only agreed, she also added supporting Comprehensive Immigration Reform in exchange for voice coaching and language phraseology training so she could even sound like Shaheen while taking down the conservatives.
News from our own backyard continues after this.
Alderman at-Large Joe Kelly Levasseur has exposed yet another in the grand conspiracy to make him look like he’s an unhinged lunatic. Now, in addition to Manchester Police Chief David Mara, Manchester Police Patrolman’s Association President Steve Maloney, The Manchester Association of Police Supervisors, “not off duty not police officers,” the entire uniformed compliment of the Manchester Police Department, Mayor Ted Gatsas, The New Hampshire Attorney General’s Office, Hooksett Police Chief Peter Bartlett, Hooksett Police Sergeant Janet Bouchard, Ward 10 Alderman Phil Greazzo, City GOP Chair Tammy Simmons, the entire Republican Party, Welfare Commissioner Paul Martineau, almost every Manchester city government department head and their management staffs, our own Humble Host Rich Girard, his former best friend Will Infantine and countless others, Levasseur accused Santa Claus of being out to get him. It appears as if Kris Kringle dropped an entire bag of coal in Levasseur’s stocking. An outraged Levasseur said this was evidence that the naughty and nice lists were a bunch of…well, can’t say that on the air…and that if Claus was real or doing his job, he’d know that Levasseur was the victim in all the troubles surrounding him. In an interview with Girard at Large, Claus said our news story about Levasseur being chosen as a replacement for the Grinch because of his ability to distract attention from things that matter or could get done was the deciding factor leading to his decision to give Levasseur the coal.
Finally this morning, and on a serious note, Girard at Large is expanding and looking for help as the New Year begins. We have some big projects in the work and big announcements pending. Our field marketing team, which develop sponsors for the show, needs additional members. Our Web and social media outlets are large, active, rapidly growing and in need of consistent attention. And, our intense focus on LOCAL people, places and things has brought us more newsworthy stuff from our own backyard than we can hope to get to and we need help there, too. Last, but not least, we’re expanding our production capabilities, too. ?We’ve linked to the relevant page on Girard At Large dot com for those who might be interested. We welcome your inquiry and your suggestions and proposals.
That’s news from our own backyard, Girard at Large hour ___ is straight ahead!